The Unification Hypothesis
by AbitheWitch88
Summary: This is a continuation of 'The Lovers Isolation'. The story takes place after Sheldon Marries Rory.   Please read The Lovers Isolation first otherwise this wont make sense. please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer, To the owners of the things I write about, I don't own anything, I am having fun with your stuff, please don't sue me as I am poor. I don't own The Big Bang theory.

"Oh Sheldon that ceremony was...it was...just lovely, The lack of God was deliberate I am guessing" said Mary to her newly married son.

"It wasn't deliberate but it was desiderate" replied her son, as her handbag was in the house Mary didn't have to hand her pocket thesaurus that she normally did when her son was around.

Rory and Sheldon were going around, thanking guests for coming, Meemaw had baked a wedding cake for the occassion, the happy couple had cut this and helped to share it out, the fireworks were set off, catherine wheels had been attatched to the surrounding trees, children were running around with sparklers, followed by thier frantic parents.

Rory's foster parents the Gregs were haveing a talk with Mary, comparing what their children were like growing up, it turned out that Rory had kept in touch with them a lot, they had visited her quite a lot, on their last visit a few months ago Rory had cut out columns of science magazines that Sheldon had written, on a few of them the text was accompanied with his picture, they recognised him instantly earlier that day.

The party went on until the early hours, Raj had had quite a lot to drink and so Missy took him to her room so he could lie down, 'my sister has a kind heart' Sheldon thought.

Howard was flirting with Sheldons cousin Sandra, she worked for NASA as an engineer, they went for a walk and weren't seen for the rest of the night, Leonard and Penny were dancing in the clearing/ makeshift dancefloor. they had been discussing how nice it would be now that they didn't have to look after Sheldon anymore, after a while the music turned to a more romantic genre, Just a kiss by Lady Antebellum came on, Sheldon escorted Rory to the dancefloor for their first dance as Man and Wife, Penny looked at Leonard's eyes behind his thick lenses, she saw a spark, like the one Sheldon saw in Rorys and vice versa, she asked if he saw a spark in her eyes, he said yes but commented that it could be a reflection of the fireworks.

Penny didn't care, she saw it in his eyes, she thought that if a man as emotionally redundant as Sheldon could have the courage to say I love you to another one of his species then surely she could say I love you to Leonard, so she did.

Leonard and Penny thanked Rory and Sheldon for allowing them to be a part of their day, Penny gave Rory the Dr Who scarf she had in her handbag, Penny and Leonard left the congregation and were, like Howard and Raj, not seen again that night.

Authors note: I thought I would attempt to do a little bit on the other BBT cast in this chapter, Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon awoke the next morning as he had done the previous, with Rory laying astride him sound asleep, although they were both fully clothed, it was still very intimate.

Sheldon thought it was amusing that two people so alike slept so differently, he always slept the same way, straight, his hands by his sides, his legs together, when he had a blanket he had it so that it was neat and tidy, no wrinkles in it, he never had it another way.

At least not until now.

Rory slept strangly, her body made shapes, at the moment Sheldon could only describe it half a swastika, although that probebly wasn't a very good analogy.

"Rise and shine sleepy head, you and I just got wed." Sheldon sang into Rorys left ear.

Rory scratched her head and whacked it into Sheldons nose by accident. Sheldon screamed. Rory was awake now.

Rorys mum was in the kitchen when Leonard walked in, followed by Howard and Penny, Mary remarked about how they may have had too much to drink last night.

"where are the newlyweds?" asked Raj as he walked into the room, yawning.

"well either Sheldons getting some in the tree house or he woke up with a hangover judging on that scream" replied Howard, earning him a sharp look from Mrs Cooper.

Leonard was leaning on the kitchen counter with Penny in front of him, his arms around her waist.

Truth be told many people engaged in coitus last night, but for the first time in history not the Newlyweds.

Sheldon and Rory walked through the door, Sheldon was holding his nose, blood was dripping from it, Rory was being sympathetic but not one other person in the room shared her feelings, they didn't want to empathise, they wanted to mock.

"you wouldn't have had that if you put the handcuffs on her" came from Howard, something about don't put the electrodes on your nose next time came from Raj and Leonard was looking on his phone for the domestic abuse helpline, all of them laughing whilst doing so.

Rory explained what happened and was greeted by a group rendition of 'yeah', 'ok' and 'sure.'


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own TBBT or CSI.

Sheldon and Rory had said their goodbyes and were in Rorys VW campervan heading towards Pasadena, it was a days drive away so they decided to stop over in Las Cruces

Sheldon had booked them into the Cruses Inn as they have wireless internet. it looked posh on the website, it would be like a honeymoon, Rory had suggested Hawaii but Sheldon had grumbled something about Hawaii being a former leper colony, on top of an active volcano, where the crappy ending of Lost was filmed.

Las Cruces it was then.

As they travelled down the I10 they played many of Sheldons driving games and invented a few new ones, such as element uses, someone says an element and the other has to guess what it is most commonly used for, Rory started with chromium, which Sheldon remarked was most used in the production of stainless steel to stop it corroding.

The happy couple were enjoying this game, it went on until they had elements left that had no use such as francium.

After nearly 12 hours on the road Sheldon and Rory had travelled the 792 miles, stopped 5 times to use the restroom, consumed 4 blue icees, 10 cans of diet coke and eaten 34 red vines between them.

They finally arrived at the Cruses Inn.

The room was nice, it had everything one would need to have an enjoyable time, Sheldon got his Lumalight out of his bag and started combing the room for possible traces of previous visitors. Rory went to the local store for supplys, leaving Gill Grissom to play with his toys.

When she returned, restocked with assorted junk food she found her husband lying on the bed, his eyes were closed, he was resting peacefully.

Rory put the bags down and jumped on him playfully, causing him to wake up, he was already anticipating such an event and met her smile with his own.

"I was half expecting to return to find you setting fire to the room shouting Unclean! unclean!" remarked Rory,

"hmmm, either you expect something or you dont, you cant half expect something to happen, a more accurate phrase would be along the lines of 'I was thinking I would return to find , or I envisaged such an outcome to occur'."

Rory started to kiss him at this point, partly because she loves him, partly to shut him up for a few minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

Sheldon didn't comprehend what to do, he had a woman on top of him, kissing him deeply and passionately.

Having been residing with Leonard for several years he had seen people kissing before, it normally didn't last for more than a few moments, this one was lasting for at least 6 minutes and 48 seconds by his calculations.

'What do I do with my hands?' he contemplated, at the moment they were down by his sides, as they always were when he was on a bed. He moved them up and placed them, hesitating at first, on Rorys back.

This made the kiss deeper, Sheldon needed oxygen, he could feel himself suffocating with this deeper kiss. Rory must have sensed the panic and stopped for a moment, then when they had returned to a normal color they continued.

Sheldon thought about what he should do, should he hope that she falls asleep soon, it's unlikely but possible, or should he initiate what a husband is supposed to do, make love to his wife.

To Sheldon, the idea of sex was about as appealing to being thrown into a bath full of Cholera with a homeless tramp. the thought of putting himself into someone else was horrible, the touching aswell, he couldn't touch someone else skin, skin that had come into contact with germs from toilet seats. He hadn't seen Rory in years, what if she had had sex with someone with HIV or other diseases, this was all perfectly reasonable thinking.

A panic attack had begun, he had had them before and knew what was coming, his respiration was 34 breaths per minute, his pulse was 118, his temperature had shot up to what he could only assume to be over 38 degrees. His body was trying to take in Oxygen and expel carbon dioxide but it just couldn't, his throat went tight, he began to feel sick.

Rory could feel the change in Sheldon immediately, she jumped off of him, helped him into a sitting position, hoping to bring his oxygen levels up, telling him to take deep breaths, trying to help him.

After a while the anxiety started to fade, Rory made him a cup of tea and asked him what had triggered it all off.

Sheldon explained whilst panting slightly," I'm scared, my brain is telling me to think logically, what if you're not a virgin, what if I get sick because I touched you?" He couldn't look at Rory, he stared down at the floor.

"Sheldon why would I lie?, I have an idea, think logically, if we make love in the bath, then you would be sure I'm clean, and I do have proof I'm a virgin, I wouldn't have a hymen if I didn't now would I?" Rory felt hurt by his words, she knew about the germ phobia and the OCD, she wanted to help him, she had imagined loosing her virginity on a bed strewn with rose petals and music playing softly in the background. Not in a bathtub after being medically examined. But then again, this wasn't a normal guy, this is Sheldon Cooper we are talking about, he has the same basic anatomy but can be considerably different to the rest of the Human race.

"Yes, I believe that would be acceptable" Sheldon replied.


	5. Chapter 5

Sheldon ran the bath to his permissible temperature, 42 degrees centigrade exactly, to many this may be considered too hot but for him it was cleansing.

Rory was unclothed, her body was beautiful he thought, he had never seen a naked woman in the flesh before he met Rory, he had already seen her in the shower at his mothers.

Now for the first time since he was a child, he was going to be undressed in front of another person.

Sheldon took off his dressing gown, his body was average he thought, his genitals definitely were esthetically pleasing.

Rory wasn't looking at him when he got undressed, she already knew that he would be embarrassed, she was herself, and she didn't want this to be more awkward than it already was.

Rory joined Sheldon in the bath, he had his wash bag and took out his lynx shower gel, it was bright green, he liked it as it looked radioactive.

This was awkward, Sheldon had seen sex on the TV before, he usually didn't think about it but he was now, he was thinking how it was romantic, candles were alight, there was dim lighting, it took place on a bed. There seemed to be no hesitating on the TV, people seemed to know what they were doing.

Rory was upset, she didn't want it to be this way, it wasn't what she had dreamed of, maybe it would be different after the first time she thought.

"This is ridiculous" Sheldon interjected. He could feel his wifes disappointment, "lets bathe and go to the bedroom, I think I have my emergency glow sticks, I'm sure I packed them."

"That sounds perfect"Rory replied, she and Sheldon exchanged smiles for the first time since they had started.

Sheldon washed every part of Rorys body, and she washed him, this was the most perfect experience they thought, it was strange at first and then Rory started the kissing, it turned it into something far less clinical.

After half an hour of kissing and washing each other, Sheldon placed his arms around his decontaminated wife and lifted her out of the bath.

They made their way into the bedroom. Both clean, both content.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors note: Please review, I don't know how this is going or where it's going, I have never written fanfiction with coitus in it before and am having difficulty in grasping it so please be nice. I have tried to keep Sheldon in character as much as possible, as he doesn't have sex in TBBT it is difficult to think how he would react, so what is written has been my reaction rather than his, after all, he and I have very much the same outlook as one another. Please let me know what you think or any ideas of what you want to read, it is greatly appreciated.

Sheldon laid Rory on the bed gently, he didn't want to hurt her, thats another thing he was dreading, he had read in the sex book that his friends had given him that when a woman looses her virginity, or to use the writers own heinous words, 'pops her cherry', it will hurt, there may even be some bleeding.

He got the glow sticks from his bag and snapped them to make them illuminate, these were scattered onto several surfaces, causing the romantic effect they were both hoping for.

Sheldon placed himself on top of Rory, the warmth hit him instantly, another persons body heat against his was alien to him, but if he was honest with himself the intimacy was appealing.

He leant down and kissed his wife, he could feel his body reacting to this, he had always kept his body at a distance from himself in order to concentrate of unraveling the mysteries of the universe but he cant do that now, he and his body are one, and soon he will be one with Rory.

Rory reached for Sheldons hands and entwined hers with his, they could feel each others wedding ring, this was reassuring to them both, this was right, this was what they should be doing, they weren't going to have sex, intercourse or coitus, they were going to make love.

Sheldon used his knees to part Rorys legs and position himself at her entrance. He stopped the kiss and looked into Rorys eyes, looking for any sign that she wanted to stop, all he saw was the spark that she saved just for him,

"it's ok sweetheart, im ready if you are" Said Rory reassuringly,

with that Sheldon lowered his hips, entering his wife.

Sheldon was amazed at the warmth of her, she was moist and hot, her walls enveloping him as he reached full penetration, he couldn't breath, he couldn't think, all that he could focus on was her heat.

Rory was aghast, she had never felt anything like it, a mixture of pain and pleasure at the same time, she wanted to scream but her body didn't know which emotion to scream about, a whimper escaped her lips, her husband astride her with his eyes closed, she couldn't let him see her in pain, he would never forgive himself, she focused on the amazing feeling rather that the excruciating one, causing her body to shift to adjust to the new sensation spreading through her lower body, Sheldon was large, she knew this as she had seen artwork depicting the human form and either all artists are all liars or Sheldon is more greatly proportioned than most.

Sheldon didn't move, the whimper he heard was unintelligible, it was both pain and pleasure he thought, or she was hungry, he didn't really know, all he could do was stay perfectly still.

"do you want me to proceed?" Sheldon whispered into Rorys ear

"yes" Rory gasped

Sheldon moved his hips up, bringing himself back into the cold of the room, then her lowered them down again, into the heated folds.

He kissed her neck and found out very quickly that Rory liked this, she moved her head up, exposing more area for her husbands lips.

Rory reached behind Sheldon and cupped his hind quarters, this was what drove Sheldons eyes to roll over in pleasure, he sped up, the faster pace drove the couple to the brink of insanity with pleasure, the electricity between them felt never ending, until their bodies shook right down to the core, fire raged through them, then they were spent, they lay upon the bed in each others arms.

"Fascinating".


	7. Chapter 7

Hello to my readers, please read and review, I hope you enjoy, once again, I don't own TBBT.

...

Rory felt the stickiness of the love making, Sheldon felt it too, they headed hand in hand into the bathroom again, this time they ran the shower above the bath,

"I have to protest to this, there are no adhesive ducks, the water will reduce the coefficient of static friction between our feet and the bathtub to essentially zero, we will fall and end up in a germ ridden hospital" Sheldon moaned, Rory could understand his problem, it just seemed Sheldon wanted to use more words to say ' we need a mat'

"It will be fine, I have an idea, if we aren't standing then we wont fall" Rory winked, the man with the high IQ took a moment to analyze this data,

"I don't understand?" he said.

it was at this moment that Rory laid down n the bath, the shower spraying her with hot water, Sheldon got the message and laid atop of her, they made love there, under the water, in the bathtub.

it was more intense and far less romantic than their previous endeavor, Rory noticed more pleasure this time, this was obvious to both Sheldon and the other people in the surrounding rooms of the Hotel.

Rory was crying out in pleasure, begging Sheldon to increase his speed and force, he obliged, happily and without hesitation, though he did enjoy the idea of waiting for her to ask a second time. he enjoyed the feeling of being in control.

When Rory asked him once again he tested out his hypothesis, Rory grew frustrated, grabbing his buttocks she turned him over, now she had the control, Sheldon was out of his comfort zone now, he was at her mercy completely.

He loved watching her breasts move when she did, he held onto them, rolling her nipples in between his forefinger and thumb, this caused Rory to cry out more, speeding up on top of him, this was too intense for Sheldon, he was whimpering before, he was now shouting out in ecstasy, his eyes closing, he was shouting into the darkness.

After a half hour they both cried out a final cry, the pleasure coursed through them, forcing them to shake and quiver uncontrollably. Rory collapsed on top of her husband, their breathing was rapid at first but calmed down to a more controllable speed after a few moments.

Rory got the radioactive looking shower gel and this time she enjoyed washing Sheldon clean, then herself, she moved over so Sheldon could get up as he had developed a cramp in his left leg, he hadn't taken into account that his orgasm was so intense he hadn't completely recovered from it, as he stood his right leg gave way, Sheldon fell out of the bath, landing with a thud on the bathroom floor, he wasn't in pain but the sound of hysterics coming from the woman in the bathtub didn't help his bruised ego.


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon awoke at 9am, his wife was wrapped up in his arms. Sunshine was blazing in, a mockingbird was singing outside the hotel window.

Sheldon looked at the beauty he was holding, they had consummated the marriage, twice, it felt so much more real now, they had lost their virginities to one another the previous night.

Sheldon tried to move, his back was aching, after the escapades in the bathtub Sheldon was feeling rather tender, he didn't want to disturb Rory but didn't really have much of a choice, after all he was late for his usual morning bathroom routine.

Rory awoke to find the bed empty,'Sheldon must be in the bathroom' she figured.

She got out of bed to find the room in an awfully disorganised state, clothes everywhere, glowsticks covering surfaces, she didn't like this, she liked order.

Sheldons phone was ringing, so she answered it,

"Hello"

"Hi, is Sheldon there, it's leonard."

"erm, he's in the bathroom at the moment, how are you doing? hows everyone?" Rory asked.

"he is normally finished in the bathroom by now, Marriage must have done something to him. Everyones fine, Penny and I are back together wich is great, Raj is still in Texas trying to convince his parents via webcam that Missy is the girl for him and Howard hasn't been seen since the wedding but he is ok as he keeps twittering about his latest exploits with that girl from NASA, how are you getting on with Sheldon, need any help?" Leonard replied.

Rory thought hard about this offer of assistance but she didn't need it, she knew Sheldon so well that his usual nerdy self didn't bother her, they had discussed his routine in the van driving to the Hotel and it seemed pretty straightforward,

"Nah, I think I can manage, he is pretty hard to get on with at first isn't he" she laughed, Leonard agreed with this but stated that if she did need any help he and the gang would be more than happy to intervene, Rory was grateful for this.

They spoke at length about things Rory may need to know, such as the temperature of the apartment depending on the season, laundry night, the different resturaunts Sheldon liked and where he normally sat in them and his spot on the couch.

Rory was writing it all down, it seemed very straightforward.

Sheldon had a week left until he had to return to CALtech so Rory asked Leonard what he thought Sheldon would think about going camping.

Leonard laughed so hard he dropped his phone.

"Sheldon, what is your position on camping?" Rory asked when he came out of the bathroom.

"I don't dislike the notion that Homo erectus should sleep outside when on an expedition to hunt large animals but I certainly dont agree with the 'Holiday' paradym where people sit on dirt, eat charred pieces of sugar and vocalise about someone coming round the mountain" Sheldon stated.

"i'm going to take that as a no." Rory uttered to herself.

"I thought it would be romantic, we could drive into the middle of nowhere, sit on blankets, sleep in the van and play spot the constellation like we did when we were children" she suggested.

Sheldon thought this through.

"Counter proposal, we go to the planetarium and sing John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt on the ride home." Sheldon offered.

Rory couldn't help but laugh at this idea,

"it's supposed to be romantic not informative" Rory argued,

"Ok, we go to the planetarium, sing John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt on the ride home and then make love again in the bath" Sheldon urged, hoping that this would satisfy her, in more ways than one.

"Don't worry about it, I just thought it would be fun, thats all." Rory mumbled, dissapointed. She so wanted to be like a normal couple, she knew they were different and that they shared a hatred of germs and bacteria, but people go camping all the time, you hear about people being attacked by bears, not dying because they slept on mud.

Rory had been through the cognitive behavioural therapy and this was something she and ther therapist had discussed, 'think about what you hear on the news, you never hear of people dying because they touched mouldy cheese' her therapise had told her, you have to think logically, not turn molehills into mountains and allow your fears to control you.

She shared this theory with Sheldon, and as a compremise they agreed that Sheldon would choose the spot where they camp, there would be no touching dirt and if animals were nearby Rory would stay awake on 'wildlife patrol'.

this seemed perfectly reasonable to both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Sheldon had chosen a spot in the Organ Mountains, just outside the national park area.

It was very pretty, you could see all of Las Cruses from the makeshift campsite. They had been to Wal mart earlier in the day and bought enough provisions to last a few days, although they only intended to stay for one night, Sheldon liked to be safe rather than sorry.

As Rory unloaded the VW campervan Sheldon was building a campfire, it was getting quite late and the sun was starting to loved watching Sheldon do manly activities, she started day dreaming about him washing the van with no top on.

She was soon snapped out of it as she noticed Sheldon shouting something about an anaconda, it turned out to be a worm. The hyena turned out to be a rabbit and Sheldon didn't care what Rory thought, the eagle was giving him a dirty look.

Rory gave Sheldon a kiss, trying to calm him down, it seemed to work for a while.

Rory laid down some blankets around the fire, she got the marshmallows out of the Wal mart bag and Sheldon looked for the sterile kebab sticks he insisted on using to put them on.

Sheldon and Rory sat there by the fire, watching the sunset, toasting marshmallows and singing a song containing every element on the periodic table that they had heard many times before sung by comedian Tom Lehrer.

"I'm glad we came here, it's peaceful, I can focus on how string theory proves more groundbreaking evidence in uniting quantum mechanics and general relativity than loop quantum gravity does." Sheldon stated, staring at the stars, Orion belt was really visible tonight.

"I was going to say that the stars are pretty and I'm high on sugar but your theory is a good enough reason to like it here honey" replied Rory, taking hold of Sheldons hand.

The temperature was starting to go down, Rory shivered, she only had a Batman tank top on with some 3/4 length jeans, she wasn't really dressed appropriately for the weather, Sheldon looked at her, he was reminded of the wind up chattering teeth they played with as children, trying to analyze what the point of them was, he could see now that they were for entertainment purposes, they made him smile.

He took off his beige jacket and draped them around her so they both had two layers on, he reached behind them, getting a blanket out of the van. they snuggled under the blanket and watched the satellites going by, there were a couple of shooting stars, Rory tried to encourage Sheldon to make a wish, he just said it was nonsense and superstitious hokum.


	10. Chapter 10

Rory captured Sheldon by the hand into the camper van, she was too cold, even with his coat on and an additional blanket.

It was past midnight, Sheldon was jittery, either through nervousness of recognizing what Rory wanted or because of the low climate.

Sheldon didn't know when the van had last been disinfected so was halfhearted about getting into the back of it, Rory had positioned down the blanket they had around them and moved all of the luggage into the front seats, Sheldon got a few more glow sticks out of his bag and put them around the edge of the van, Rory was laying down, her tank top was ridden up so her midriff was displaying, her belly button was looking at Sheldon, it seemed to do something too him, she had her arm over her face, she resembled a damsel in distress.

Sheldon climbed onto her and moved her arm, allowing him to kiss her.

Sheldon had never really commenced sexual congress before, it was always Rory who had started it, or at least assisted him to make the right movements, now it was his turn, he was thankful that the van wasn't tall enough for Rory to be astride him, he enjoyed the pleasure but didn't like to feel out of control, not knowing what would happen next.

Sheldon was grinning like a Cheshire cat whilst kissing Rory, he was happy to be away from the mud, then his cell phone started to vibrate, it played Coldplays 'the Scientist', Rory recognized it as Leonards ringtone. The fact that it was vibrating didn't help their predicament, Sheldon reached into his chino pocket and answered the phone,

"You said if I found another one of my species you would leave me alone" he said in a harsh tone.

"I said I would get out of your way, I'm miles away so there. I was just wondering how you were?" Leonard responded in the same tone he had been greeted with moments before.

"If you scanned my brain right now you would see a smaller amount of metabolic activity in my cerebral cortex." Sheldon replied,

"What the hell are you doing on your honeymoon Sheldon?" Leonard was panicking now.

"I just told you, I'm Horny, go away!"

Sheldon hung up the phone, threw it out of the window, went to get it and came back to being on top of Rory again, who was incredibly turned on by this macho performance.

Sheldon removed Rorys tank top and jeans, leaving her in her undergarments, He then removed all of his clothes, it took a while but that was to be expected.

He laid on Rory who removed the rest of her clothes, he did as he had done before, moved her legs apart with his knees, and he made love to her through the night.


	11. Chapter 11

Sheldon and Rory awoke, their bones still aching from last nights shinanigans.

They packed away their belongings into the back of the van and drove the 12 hours to Pasadina.

On the drive they continued to eat junk food, Sheldon brought up some relationship talk.

"how many offspring do you want to have?" he asked, causing Rory to almost swerve off the interstate, earning her some dirty looks from the other drivers.

"where did that come from?" she replied.

"I was just under the impression that now we are having frequent unprotected intercourse and considering that are married I thought children would be preferable." Sheldon told her.

Rory had completely forgotten about protection, she hadn't thought about condoms since she filled one with deoderant and set fire to it in foster care when she was 16.

"oh god, oh god oh god, Sheldon, sweetheart I haven't even seen where we are living, the last thing on my mind was children, thats something way way down the line" she told him, trying to make a signal with her hands signifying a long way away.

For Sheldon this was something of a relief, he wasn't ready to be a dad yet, it scared him to the core, he wouldn't know what to do.

As Rory and Sheldon drove through Pasadena he gave her the grand tour, he showed Rory the comic book store, model train shop, the cheesecake factory, the grocery store that sells the good hot mustard and Pottery barn.

They drove into Los Robles Avenue and Rory parked the van. Sheldon had already told her about the elevator status so she was pleased she didn't have very much, she had learned that when you're thrown around the American foster care business you should pack light.

Sheldon helped to carry her things up to the flat, he unlocked the door, put down her bags and picked her up,

"Christ Sheldon, what the hell!" she shouted, startled by her husbands behavior.

"I am forfilling the husbands obligation to carry the wife over the threshold of the dwelling" Sheldon replied.

He put her down gently on the couch and brought her bags in.

Rory was looking around, it was exactly how she imagined it would be, it looked like a well kept college dorm room, minus the mold.

Sheldon gave her the grand tour, she was shown where everything was in the kitchen, the bathroom and the bedroom,

"Star wars sheets?" she laughed, waiting a reasonable explanation.

"Yeah but if you leave the night light on you wont find the characters too exciting." he replied nonchalantly. "I used to have two glow in the dark fish, I called them Pope Paul V and Galileo, they didn't like each other but it doesn't really matter as they died two days later from radiation poisoning. By the way I'm now banned from owning any animals." Sheldon stated. He obviously didn't see the semi amusing side of his tale.

Sheldon and Rory were sitting in the living room on the couch, Rory had just made a cup of tea when suddenly Sheldon puts a large stack of papers on the coffee table.

"Right we need to fill in the agreement, it's just a few rules that Leonard and I have in place to make life easier and trust me, we need it with Leonard as our roommate.

Right,

Rule one: Do not sit in my spot.

Rule two: do not use other peoples toothbrushes, clothes or touch any property in general.

Rule three: we have a cleaning rota that involves us all with all tasks

Rule three section 2: apart from me cleaning the toilet.

Rule four: I must be informed 72 hours in advance if people are visiting,

Rule four section 2 : if we do have visitors after a 72 hour warning they must be offered a hot beverage

Rule four section 3: if after 72 hours notice we have visitors and we do not have a hot beverage to offer then we have hot beverages delivered and the person responsible covers the cost of said beverages.

Rule five: we do a shopping list each week and take turns in going to the store and purchasing the items.

Rule five section 2: don't forget ingredients for hot beverages."

"Hang on a minute, how many rules are there?" Rory asked

"Including or excluding the sub sections?" said Sheldon

"Both"

"ok, just the rules is 349, including the subsections 683" Sheldon said, trying to find his place again on the page.

"right, I'm not signing that, I know your set in your ways and it's cute but if you think I'm signing an agreement then you need a cat scan, we could go back to Texas and fix the one you made!" Rory stated,

"But that one caught fire and I don't have any ring stand clamps in order to fix it" he replied innocently, he was taken aback by Rorys sudden change in demeanor.

"Sheldon for heavens sake, I am being sarcastic"

"Ooh, that rule 254: you must inform me when sarcasm is introduced into the conversation,

Rule 254 section 2: this can be done vocally or by means of using a sign" he interjected.

Rory walked out of the room, she went downstairs and bumped into Penny on the second floor,

"Hey, welcome home, how was the honeymoon?" she asked.

"Yeah it was great, I just got shown my new living quarters and apparently I have to sign an agreement that involves me buying tea, any suggestions on how I proceed without ending up in jail would be cool" Rory exclaimed.

"Oh, he was like that with Leonard, just tell him your his wife, not his roommate, worst case scenario you get a divorce and take half his comic book collection" Penny suggested.

Rory laughed, "I don't think I could be that cruel" she said.

Rory and Penny walked back upstairs together, Rory waited a few minutes and went into the apartment, Sheldon was sitting on the couch, still shuffling the pages of his contract.

He looked up and noticed she was back

"I think I upset you, I'm just looking through here to see if there is a rule that could have done it, is it because I won't clean the toilet? asked Sheldon.

"No Sheldon, I'm your wife, not your roommate, you can't say I can't live here if I don't sign it, I don't even understand why you have it though, why not just verbally communicate a few well chosen things like, let me know if your having people over or dude, your turn to clean the tub as it's growing Gremlins or something like that." Rory said.

"When my parents got divorced they tried talking about custody of Al, Missy and me, it started off well but in the end they went to court and wrote up a custody agreement, every week the rules were there, Dad picks us up at an exact time and drops us off at an exact time. everyone followed the rules and life was consistent, predictable, we didn't have that without the pieces of paper." Sheldon explained.

Now Rory understood, if he had the rules he always knew what was happening.

"I understand Sheldon but I'm your wife, we already have our own set of rules that we signed on our wedding day, we don't need these ones." she said as she picked up the agreement and put them in the bin.

"So you're not going to sign it then?" Sheldon asked.

"Nope, and if you mention it again I swear I'm going to write up a divorce agreement where the words will be spelt out using letters I cut out of your comic books." Rory replied as she made them both tea.

Sheldon went very pale at this threat, caused by both the disturbing thought that Rory would leave him and the even worse thought that she would ruin his comic book collection in the process.


End file.
